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This cycle is all about the “I” – and what’s that got to do with love... driving us IN … and beyond.
We may want to fasten our seat belts, for this cycle vibrates the sense and the act of driving, often seemingly too fast or too risky for our minds to see that it is universal support that we’re driven into – whether we like it or not. Enjoy the ride!
There’s this thing called “I”. We usually have a strong sense of what that is – the “I” – yet it fails both scientific and intuitive observation. Nothing much reliable comes out of investigation into “I”. Even thorough search and observation leave only vague results. In case you, dear reader, have found otherwise, please share. For now it leaves us wondering is it that, which is writing; is it that, which is observing; or is it both? Buts what is it in the first place?
A striking fact is that no one is born with an “I”. It is something that develops over time during the first three years of our lives, approximately. Little children – some of us may remember this – do not have a sense of “I”. They know their name and often speak of themselves in the third person.
I remember being asked to say the “I-word” instead of my name. I was not supposed to say “Gitte is hungry”, it should be “I am hungry”. It felt strange and befuddling, why would I suddenly be “I”. I began to use the “I-word” before there was a sense of i-dentification around it. The sense of “I” being a thing, some kind of identity, happened later.
Here’s the key to understanding the mechanism: it is negative experience that creates the sense of separateness in us and thus also creates the sense of individual identity!
We’re born into oneness consciousness, a Buddha consciousness, not separate from the whole or each other. From within this Buddha consciousness we experience lack or need in the body, which is expressed by sounds. When things are working with the care giver around us, this need is met by being fed, physically and emotionally. It is from the experience of hunger, lack or need in the body that the nervous system learns a sense of being an individual unit. The final step of “having an I” is usually imprinted by negative emotions, leaving us with a clear sense of “me against you” or “me against the rest of the world.” We’ve learned to say No and put a foot down. We’ve stopped floating in the oneness soup and start taking steps on a path that introduces us to objects and the handling of them.
All of that is necessary in order to form this I-mechanism. The mechanism is needed to navigate our inner and outer world. We have to pay the price of losing the Buddha consciousness, in order to gain a sense of individual self. Later in life, with a bit of luck, we learn to give up the illusive separateness and rejoin Buddha consciousness – fully capable of navigating the inner and outer world with the knowledge of an adult in this world and the innocence of a child.
“I” is nothing but a psychosomatic mechanism, operating in the soma of the brain (mind). It operates the relation between the individual unit of one being, versus all the other objects appearing in its consciousness. “I” maneuvers the story of you. It looks through the inner lens of your camera into the movie called life and takes the picture shots it needs in order to define your identity – the story of you. Without that there would not be any functioning communication between us all. There would be no relating in the way we know it.
People on a spiritual path have come across the famous question “Who am I?”, which originates with the mystic and spiritual master Ramana Maharshi as a tool for inner inquiry into the truth.
When closely observing “I”, it is impossible to find any reliable definition, neither on where exactly does it reside inside, nor the looks of it. Yet, there is this strong sense of it “being there”, and in fact running the show for us, conducting and deciding. It even claims to be meditating and observing, right?! We say and feel “I am in meditation” or “I am watching this”. The I seems to be kind of omnipresent in the inner world, which makes it so scary to imagine how it would be without it.
Every night we experience a phase when I is not operating. That is in deep sleep. The dreaming I is still the same as the I in the waking state during the day. During deep sleep, I, me and my story has gone fully to rest. This is why deep sleep is so relaxing and rejuvenating. We all love it for its refreshing effect. We like it so much that we willingly leave our loved ones and the world when we go to sleep. The fact that there are words in our language for ‘deep sleep’ proves there must be a certain amount of consciousness during deep sleep, even though the “I, me mine” story is at rest. We do know that we had some deep sleep, or even lots of it or only little. There’s a hint: consciousness experiences deep sleep without an “I”. That which is truly awake is always awake, even when we’re fast asleep. (Thanks to Miten and Deva Premal for the song about it).
The I will resurface in in the morning and do its great job of sorting the ‘facts of life’, the necessary practicalities. That’s a great job. The downside of the mechanism is that it pretends to be good at giving you advice about how to be yourself. For the advice, it uses the material stored in the memory banks – the past. This is where dis-identifying gets more tricky. Determining the truth from the false. In order to do that, we need to rejoin the balance known as Buddha consciousness or oneness. We need to balance the main polar opposite, which is male and female.
In fact once we are adults, we have sacrificed oneness consciousness twice. The first time around age three, by developing the very needed sense of individual unit self. The second time around puberty, when the nervous system polarised its bio-electrical charge into one of two poles and the psyche became identified as either male or female. From then onward the glue of the story of “I me mine” solidifies. The ego is defined. The I-mechanism and ego are not the same. It’s too complex to go into all of this in this article, but this much should be said. The arising of the sexual power into a conscious experience of individual sexual pleasures solidifies the identification inside us of being a separate, single, personal self who relates with the other sex, forms an unbeatable team and goes for it to win over the rest of the world.
Since all the great feelings we encounter with the forming of our sexuality are based in a deep rooted sense of separation, we easily begin to fight with life, driven by our natural instinct to win. We came through this difficult phase of involuntary separation created by needs such as hunger, followed by an even more difficult phase of adapting to the rules of society and learning to be well mannered rather than natural and when we finally achieve something that looks like fun – the sexual play – nothing and no one is allowed to question that.
The identification with our gender and the according attraction between the male and the female pole guarantees the continuation of the gene pool, that is to multiply the species of the human race – which is still considered valuable despite all our questionable behaviour on the planet. The same identification with the poles gives us the greatest pleasures and the deepest sorrows of love and attraction.
What we need to do in order to overcome the separateness and discover wholeness during this lifetime is to fully and totally embrace and embody the male and female qualities within. By embody, I mean giving space to all the aspects and parts inside and hosting the multitude of ways we really are with love and compassion for ourselves. That helps to merge identified righteousness and free up the energy that is limited to moving between poles of right and wrong, into driving up, kick starting into the light. Exactly this is powerfully and effectively assisted by the great method of Tibetan Pulsing:
Giving up the measure tape of evaluating our life by the goals we’ve achieved helps an awful lot. It doesn’t mean you’ve got to stop enjoying whatever toys you like. There’s a time for almost everything. This here is mainly about giving up winning. As I’ve heard Osho say: “Only losers can win at this game.” GOOD LUCK! TASHI DELEK!
LET’S SEE …
WHAT’S IN THE “WHAT TO WATCH” THIS CYCLE
29 Oct (mn mi)
Today the universal vibrations target on the illusion of mind agreement and the protection of that illusion by keeping distraction going in one’s life. Mental agreement between two people is often interpreted to be friendship or even love, while it is just two minds talking the same thought content. Two minds agreeing on each other’s story can create a deeply illusive feeling of connectedness between two (or more) people. “I know that you know that I know that we know …” has nothing to offer to us that would fill the hole inside of wanting to be seen and understood. It’s a shallow and yet powerful substitute illusion inter-changed throughout society. When people agree on the same mind formulas, it lures them into beholding the mental agreement to be peace of mind. It seems to be taking some pressure of one’s chest. It works until some outer force disturbs it. It can get easily disturbed by life, by children, by innocence, by anything bringing up a real feeling. When the disturbances wake you up, that’s the time of liberation. Finally you can adjust again and turn the focus to what really matters, rather than seeking approval in other’s shared mind concepts. Silence is what’s needed for this balance. Out of silence your own potential for real connectedness will arise and guide you.
31 Oct (t em)
Part 1: Again today the universal frequencies support our realisation with some extra energy in two shock points. The first one is about learning that the outer, the material does not necessarily fulfil the inner, however accurately we may be able to identify the right object, what’s needed and how it all hangs together. We may see more than others and correctly grasp the whole picture, but that doesn’t mean that we do not have to go step by step.
With a deep insight and increased capacity of handling and maneuvering the objects of the world we tend to maneuver ourselves into a very lonely position from where eventually “all else” begins to look like a separate object in outer space, which we don’t have access to, while we know deep inside that we actually are connected to the source of what we long for. What it takes to live like we long for is giving up our defences by shifting focus from out to in. What it needs is the vulnerability that invites innocence to arise in your heart again.
2 Nov (i un)
And the winner is … Yes, it’s great to achieve, to stand on the pedestal with the number 1 on it. It’s great to do that in games and sports and for the fun of it. However, it is always an achievement that is dependent on external circumstance. It’s a mind created situation of an evaluation to do with comparison. All these features won’t last long and they do create separation. There isn’t much room on the winner’s pedestal, only one can stand there.
The deep drive to win (over life) got implanted with our experiences of lack in the form of hunger and the impact of survival needs to be fulfilled. However, when that drive aims at winning arguments and over feelings just for the hell of dominance, it becomes an identified righteousness, which puts blinkers on and loses sight of love and real connection. You may still be cheered at by some admirers, who actually would love to have your pedestal, but you will dry up inside and wonder where the glory is gone that once set you off on the journey. Try seeing everyone else again. That’s where the glory is waiting to fill you up with some real shine. You may be a born leader, a sole trader, a really good boss and a single, yet without being able to also play with a team or in a group of fellow humans and hang out with a friend it’s all just another polarized and lonely blues.
3 Nov (i dc)
Today is about innovation and solution finding. Sounds spectacularly exciting, doesn’t it?! And, these are great features, which some of us are able to perform and more of us wish for. When this is driving out a lot, the talent tends to overwrite the fine tune for what’s really going on inside and outside in the world around you. When you are good at inventing solutions it may lead to trying to make a bulk deal with life by bundling up all your problems and solving them with THE ONE solution. Something like the blue pill or ‘Tibetan Pulsing’ 😉 or becoming vegan. It’s the tad over-identification with a good tool that makes us blind for the variety and uniqueness in meeting the fullness of life in events and in people.
As far as you are concerned, simply listen inside. The body parts gladly let you know by signaling whether or not your newly achieved wonder miracle solution really works. As far as others or your environment are concerned, the same technique will work: listening … not only to words but listen-feel to presence and vibration. Life does always give instruction and answers. It’s our preoccupied mind that sometimes is too cluttered to hear and feel what’s really needed. In that regard, meditation helps a lot. And also meditation isn’t THE one and only solution. Ultimately no-thingness is. You reach there by being as receptive as you can be active, both without an agenda of a goal.
May the Blessing Days 5-7 November at the end of this cycle open the doors to your real potential as a human and divine being. The organ relating to this article are the Genitals.
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